Forgive and let go

Forgiveness is the mantra of being for us and for the other. We need to understand it completely to practice it in all areas of our lives.

In trying to understand forgiveness, it is very  important to know what forgiveness is not. We often have situations where there are people who keep irritating us and in the process of trying to forgive them, we get irritated and stressed. This is definitely nor suitable to them or us for the same cycle continues and nothing ever gets resolved. We could even end up being taken for granted. Forgiveness actually needs to be combined with fairness. Even in the moral dictionary, forgiveness for all and sundry no matter what they have done is neither recommended nor considered worthy. We also need to know forgiveness is not the same as forgetting but a step to improve the situation for us and if possible, the other. This may seem impossible but is possible if one has the intention to forgive. 

The best way to try and forgive is by understanding what the other person was going through and putting ourselves in their shoes. We need to know that all human beings are the same and any act that is unethical usually comes from a space of extreme misery or trauma. This act makes us better people also as we then understand the other person completely. For instance, if a petty thief stole some money to feed his family, no doubt it is wrong but by understanding his situation, we could try and redeem him by giving him/her an opportunity to do something better. This is the principle on which even reformative justice is based. There are many hard core criminals who have worked on themselves and become a new person altogether. In this context,the story of Angulimala, who became a Buddhist monk after just seeing the Buddha is worth remembering and recounting. He was a hard core dacoit who even cut people’s fingers and stung them into a necklace which is the etymology of his name, angulimala that means necklace of fingers.

In another area, on the spiritual plane, forgiving oneself is the necessary step for us to take before we become someone better. Sages and reformers had been in a low area before they reformed themselves taking the path of spirituality. 

By not forgiving, we are only adding more stress in our lives. Even families and clans have been destroyed due to not forgiving each other or reconciliation of their differences. When reconciliation is not possible, forgiveness is certainly better than harboring resentment and grudges all the time. It is proven even scientifically that not forgiveness only causes harm to the individual by adding stress and stopping a peaceful sleep from taking place. We must know it causes  harm to ourselves and we do have the control.

We surely owe to ourselves to learn the art of forgiveness by forgiving others and ourselves too, Let's begin now before it is too late