On the wings of an eagle
I inhale deeply the aroma of richly brewed coffee, the hot mug making my palms feel warm and seeing the sqn insignia on the mug, memories flood in, warming the heart.
It’s been a long time since I crossed over from being an IAF daughter to being an IAF wife. (YES, it’s not just the man; I am married to an incredible institution.) And so for me the transition was very smooth. But I can understand the doubts and apprehensions of the young brides coming from different backgrounds who join their husbands to become Af spouses. To all of them I say, “shed your fears and learn to fly, you are now on the wings of an eagle”!!
Welcome to the Af family and your new identity...an AF wife... (Except for the defence services, you rarely hear of such identities being accorded to wives in other organisations...)Here you will be treated with kid gloves, put on a pedestal and entitled to service privileges and benefits which cannot be measured tangibly. But first, there is a babtism that one needs to go thru and in your initial salad days You’ll learn that being an AF spouse isn’t easy. Anyone who tells you it is, well, don’t listen to him. It is a whole different game when compared to a civilian life, Here the AF comes first. It should and it always will. Those of you, who can understand this, will make a wonderful life out of it.
It is not just the material benefits and privileges that a service personal and his family enjoys over his civilian counterparts. In addition, what really makes the Af unique and what truly is “the wind beneath its wings” are it’s people.... Competent and caring people, supportive and understanding people, encouraging and empathising people, all of who will walk with you and who will engulf you in your times of need and distress.
There will be sacrifices that you will make on your chosen path. Quite often you’ll find yourself alone, when your husband’s would be away on long TD’s. Those will be huge trying times for you especially in your early initiation days in the AF. Then, again, there will be times when you’ll need help even when you won’t like to ask. Don’t let pride get in the way, go ahead and ask anyway, and don’t worry, everyone is guilty of this. Sometimes you’ll need to vent and sometimes you’ll just need a distraction. And oh yes! Consistently there will be official responsibilities that you will shoulder. For all this surround yourself with friends and other spouses and you’ll survive. As defence wives we must adapt and evolve.. it is in the inherent nature of our job... The great thing is that you will adapt and you will evolve to be stronger. On a parallel path, there will be appreciation, there will be trophies, there will be adulations, all of which would be your pre flight run up... and then, from amongst you, leaders, visionaries and path makers will be born and with a sense of personal achievement and pride for the services, you will soar on the wings of this Eagle!!
Remember, in your glorious journey you are not alone; you belong to a greater family, full of wonderful people who can relate to what you are going through. Many of them have been there, done that or are going through the same thing. They will lend you an ear, give you a shoulder, hold your hand and encourage you to always keep moving forward. In my mind you won’t find better people than you’ll find in the Af. This ‘people support system’ is the key to winning personal battles and making your life purposeful and rewarding.
Like I said before, this people support system is very unique to the defence. A shining example of this is an Association of the Af wives that was formed for promoting the welfare of its families. The AFWWA has grown to become a pillar of strength for the AF and is helping the Eagle gloriously fly higher. The AF has institutionalised this support system and we are reaping its benefits even in the remotest of areas of our country. From counselling, grants or scholarships to those in need to schools for our children, from improving the quality of our lives by it’s relentless efforts to provide basic essentials through it’s thrift shops, to vocational training, from in-house job opportunities and outside through its placement cells to nurturing skills and showcasing talents through cultural, educational and sports platforms. You’ll agree, such a dedicated and committed welfare system would be hard to find in any organisation.
As the years fly by, you’ll realize that the fears and apprehensions have gone, replaced by a more content, confident, and accomplished you and as you now help the young brides in their transition to AF wives, you will believe that there is no better place to be than on the wings of this eagle.
By Kamini Singh
