Replacing anger with joy

We all do get angry. This is a perfectly normal human emotion and all we need to know is learn to handle it to remain healthy and happy.

Long back, I got really angry with my house help for NOT doing something I told her to. This task was gathering all our clothes together because my husband had told me we could be transferred to Delhi from MumbaI. I had no idea on what to do so I made all kinds of remarks scolding her. My young children had never seen this avatar of mine so after a while, my son asked, “Why did you shout so much at Heera Maasi ? Could you not have been kinder in asking her why she did not do what you asked her to do? How would you feel if someone shouts at you like you did?”

I felt very bad about my own behaviour and definitely did not want to ever fall into this kind of situation again. This in fact was my first step towards self discovery and personal growth.

Introspection

I did a lot of introspection after this outburst and my young son’s wise remarks.  I understood this anger of mine was due to some other factors like not knowing when our next transfer would be and nothing to do with Heera not doing the packing. She was just a target of my anger, not the culprit at all. This is a minor incident but it made me realise many such outbursts of people are due to the fact that they do not know the real reason for their outbursts.

This then often leads to relationship issues and even health issues.  

Health and anger

A friend of mine who worried a lot about her health often took me to the doctor whenever we did our regular medical tests. Before going there, she used to ask  many questions on the state of their health and do online research herself as well. While going there, she would keep saying she would ask the doctor to get his act together.  She used to often ask her doctor angrily why he did or did not give her certain pills that her friends had told her about. “Anger is your main issue, maam.  Destress, ma'am you are healthier than most of my patients. Even those with serious health challenges like asthma and thyroid ask me fewer questions than you do. Your anger however could be the reason for an illness like high blood pressure or some other serious issue” he said. He called me and asked me separately to counsel her to remain calm by controlling her anger. The importance of doing this has been mentioned by Harvard as well.

Solution

As anger  is something that erupts from within, the solution is also from within. Anger is natural but we need to handle it well.

Acceptance of certain situations is a key to effective anger management. The principles of identifying the cause, finding a solution and not getting unnecessarily angry is a principle we all need to follow for our own wellness and happiness. This shall definitely create a better world for us and others around us.This is the best way to lead a harmonious, happy life. Happiness then spreads to create a better world filled with joy and not anger.