Avoiding comparisons

I remember the time I went to the north from south India. Apart from general adjustment issues, the main challenge for me was avoiding comparisons. As most South Indians including me are dusky while North Indians are fair, the first comparison was the colour of the skin, I used to dread parties due to this without realising that no one was bothered about this other than me. I was  I was the one who was solely responsible for this dread.

We must know that all of these will go away only if we stop indulging in them. I stopped thinking about the color of my skin and focussed only on looking good as any woman does and started enjoying get-togethers instead of dreading them. Avoiding comparisons can be challenging, especially in a world where social media and societal standards often encourage them. Fortunately, there are several strategies you can use to minimize the habit of comparing yourself to others:

1. Focus on Your Journey:

   • Remind yourself that everyone’s path is unique.

   • Concentrate on your personal goals, achievements, and progress.

2. Limit Social Media Use:

   • Take breaks from social media or unfollow accounts that trigger comparisons.

   • Focus on people and events that inspire and uplift you.

3. Practice Gratitude:

   • Keep a gratitude journal to remind yourself of the positives in your life.

   • Reflect on your strengths, achievements, and what you’re thankful for.

4. Set Personal Goals:

   • Establish clear, attainable goals for yourself based on your interests and values.

   • Track your progress and celebrate small victories.

5. Self-Awareness and Mindfulness:

   • Practice mindfulness to stay present and focused on your own experiences.

   • Recognize when you’re making comparisons and gently steer your thoughts back to your own life.

6. Positive Self-Talk:

   • Use affirmations and positive statements about yourself.

   • Be kind and compassionate towards yourself.

7. Surround Yourself with Supportive People:

   • Choose friends who are positive and affirmative in your journey in life..

   • Avoid those who encourage negative comparisons.

8. Focus on Personal Development:

   • Engage in activities that help you grow and improve, such as learning new skills or hobbies.

   • Invest time in your physical and mental well-being.

9. Understand the Illusion:

   • Recognize that people often showcase their best moments, not their struggles.

• Understand that everyone has their challenges and insecurities, even if they don’t show them.

10. Seek Professional Help:

    • If comparisons are significantly affecting your mental health, consider speaking with a therapist or counselor.

By implementing these strategies, you can gradually shift your focus from others to yourself, fostering a healthier mindset and a more fulfilling life.

We must know that we are the designers of our own lives and therefore design it accordingly. It is all in our control, We must recognize this at all times of our life.

I certainly started enjoying my life by avoiding the demon of comparison for we all are unique in the game of life and should seek to remain so always to add flavour to ourselves and others around us. This is how we shall remain happy and content. 

By Jamuna Rangachari