Respecting our elders

While in the West, people give importance only to the young, in most Eastern cultures, it is a fundamental principle to respect elders. 

I remember the time my late mother-in-law lived with us in Delhi. We as a family were respected a lot because of the respect we had for her and as a result, most people went out of their way to help us settle down there. The gardener, the person who pressed our clothes and even the guard gave the first preference to our home calling it “Maataji ka ghar”. As my late mother-in-law was quite friendly despite not even knowing the language, there were many voluntary interpreters to help her navigate the area.

In general, showing respect to elders means showing appreciation, deference, and kindness to older individuals, recognizing their wisdom, experience, and contributions to society. There are of course many traditions like touching their feet and so on but essentially the ethos is to show them that they matter. In a practical way, we suggest the following 👍

1. Listening: Pay attention when elders speak, and show genuine interest in their stories and advice. We may or may not follow their advice but could lend our ears and it may give us more wisdom, if nothing more. This

2. Politeness: Use respectful language and manners, addressing them properly (e.g., Mr., Mrs., Sir, Ma'am). This again makes them feel important.

3. Helping: Offer assistance with tasks they might find difficult, such as carrying heavy items or navigating technology. The youth is stronger physically and more aware technically so it makes sense to help the elderly physically and help them in technology.

4. Spending Time: Visit and spend quality time with them, which can help combat loneliness and isolation. The fact is most elderly feel lonely because others think they are boring however they do have experience which all of us can learn from. 

5. Learning from Them: Seek their wisdom and learn from their life experiences and perspectives. This is beneficial for both the young and elderly.

6. Acknowledging Their Contributions: Most have achieved many things in life whether in their homes or societies. Recognize and appreciate their achievements and the roles they have played in their families and communities. This could be as simple as a pickle they made in a unique manner or the degrees they have received.

7. Respecting Their Wishes: Honour their preferences and decisions, understanding that they have the right to make choices about their own lives. They have indeed lived in their style for a long time so it does make sense to allow them to continue making their choices unless it is harming another.

Respect for elders is not just about specific actions but also about maintaining an attitude of gratitude, humility, and reverence for the older generations. This is a healthy attitude to have for all for those younger than us are also watching us. Essentially, we too shall go to the older generation sometime soon so we need to treat others the way we would like to be treated.