The glory of ordinary

The glory of ordinary

February 2014

By Suma Varughese

To be able to see through the lure of fame is one of the hallmarks of spiritual maturity, says Suma Varughese

Suma Varughese is a thinker, writer, seeker, latent crusader and Editor-in-Chief of Life Positive. Write to her at suma@lifepositive.net

Society and the media have programmed us into believing that fame is one of the most desirable objectives of life; and that the only goal worth pursuing is to be rich, glamorous and famous. Young people are particularly vulnerable to this idea. So much so that most girls these days list being a model or a film star as their life ambition, while young boys pine to be cricketers or actors. And with the kind of saturation publicity given to this breed in every newspaper, even by the once sober morningers, it is actually difficult to shy away from this conviction.

But the thought does tremendous mischief to our lives. In the first place, it seduces us to pursue ephemeral and materialistic goals which do not guarantee us happiness. Moreover, it causes us to neglect our real gifts and talents. When I used to edit a lifestyle magazine, I used to be assailed by a queue of people hailing from small towns aiming to become models. Tragically, they neither had the appearance nor the sophistication for the job, and often ended up in tawdry and undignified professions.

Apart from that, have we really inquired as to what fame does to us? Is there really anything desirable about it? The first thing the glamorous set has to do is to sign away their privacy, and their right to lead a normal life. They are compelled to live under the public glare, their every word, thought or action scrutinised and magnified. Unlike the rest of us, they are not allowed to goof up in privacy, or nurse a broken heart. They often remind me of zoo animals, caged for our entertainment, with no real freedom, despite all the money and fame they have obtained in exchange.

Who can blame these people, when the whole world fawns upon them?

There are other undesirable fall-outs too, one of which is the failure of relationships. For relationships to flourish, time and space is needed and a certain peacefulness, which celebs are deprived of, because of the artificial stimulus of publicity. Secondly, being a celeb is to be set apart from everyone else, to be special. Relationships can only survive on equal turf. Attempting to relate to another from the standpoint of superiority spells an end to any intimacy. And I do not mean romantic intimacy, but any meaningful relationship.

The root of the problem, of course, is the overweening ego. Fed with celebrityhood, the ego grows like a cancer cell, uncontrollably and dangerously. Who can blame these people, when the whole world fawns upon them? Unless one is intensely aware, it is so easy to believe that one is something special, and that normal rules and regulations or moral codes do not apply to one. Is it any wonder that many celebs behave so badly? And you can’t blame them. Celebirtyhood is the acme of walking on the razor's edge. One blink, and one falls off.

Fortunately, as we mature, we begin to see through the veils of this particular illusion. And the key to this is healthy self-esteem. As we begin to accept and love ourselves more and more, we become comfortable with who we are, warts and all. We no longer pine to be someone else, or something else. We are happy with ourselves, and everything else falls into perspective. Our need for masks and labels fall away as does our need to derive validation from external sources like celebrityhood. We know we have arrived when we revel in our ordinariness, knowing that just being us, without any add-ons, is enough; is in fact, plenty.