The International spiritual league
July 2010
Which team will you root for?
Seeing the recent success of IPL, some spiritual bigwigs decided to create and promote the International Spiritual League.
Rules:
There will be teams led by New Age gurus.
Each team will have 20 slots of 20 minutes each to bore the participants. Thus, this will be the equivalent of two days of workshop, where the speaking team changes every 20 minutes.
The scores will be determined on the basis of various parameters such as how many participants went to sleep, boredom level measured by psychometric instruments, use of jargon in the seminar, value of side products sold among others.
Instead of cheerleaders there will be fake participants planted who will clap and go ‘wow’ at the comments of their team. They may also occasionally break into satsang or chanting.
Some teams and their unique features are as follows:
Chopra Chargers
The team comprises of seven spiritual lawyers, each representing one spiritual law of success. Apart from these, there are three parrots. One will read Rumi’s poems with music in background. Other two will pick out random words from a physics textbook and a Vedic scripture and merge them to throw jargon at participants.
AOL Avtaars
With the chant of “Jai Guru Dev,” the AOL Avtaars have the strongest cheerleaders who perform rock satsangs. The team comprises of several DJs who play pre-recorded tapes and answer Q&As. They can be spotted in long hair and beards and with a seraphic smile on their faces.
Brahma Bachhas
This is an all-woman team with only one guy. The members of this group consider themselves brothers-sisters and believe that the dawn of ISL is the beginning of a new era. They provide free meditation sessions to all participants but after that, they have to wear a lapel pin that has the logo of the team.
Katha Kalakars Inc.
A motley crew of gurus who specialise in retelling mythological tales spiced up with anecdotes and stories. Together they have one of the largest fan followings, and regularly get brand endorsements. They appear at various places to talk about their brand of storytelling. The great thing is that they manage to make these stories not only interesting but also believable.
Reiki Ravers
Using gratitude as their primary tool, this team simply becomes grateful for whatever happens! This team possesses secret symbols that it can start drawing anytime they want to get an advantage. Apparently, these symbols also give them the power to communicate without any visible channels. The team sees everything in the form of energy and tries to steal energy secretly from the Universe.
T - Tottlers
Process lab and T-Group specialists form a part of this team. They are known for super slow and pointless discussions, which they call ‘processing’. In spite of its questionable effectiveness, this team is one of the highest priced. It refuses to acknowledge the score of previous matches and innings since it insists on being in the ‘here and now.’
At the end of ISL, we hope that our participants and readers will be thoroughly entertained and move closer to their final goal of enlightenment. See you there!
Discussion (0)
No comments yet. Be the first to comment!
Leave a Comment
You need to login to post a comment.