The Journey to Self Realisation

The Journey to Self Realisation

We all are the result of maya,  

which makes us undergo a  

journey, only to realise that there  

never was one, says Ajay Kalra 

We are all on a journey. The journey to realise who we are. Most personal journeys are  

about finding ourself. This journey is about losing all ideas about ourself. It’s an  uncommon journey which few people undertake. 

The other thing unusual about this journey is that people undertaking it are imagined. It may seem  that a person is undertaking a journey over a period of time, but, in actuality, nothing ever happens.  Like a dream seems real until waking up, similarly, this journey seems real until the end is reached,  only to realise that the character and journey never happened.  

This is the peculiarity of this journey. And these are the different stages of this mysterious journey: 

1. Unconsciousness 

This is where the journey begins—in darkness.  We suddenly come into this unfamiliar world.  We try hard to fit in. If we can’t, we rebel. The  mind is a jumble of thoughts. We are not aware  of these thoughts. Just as a ring is stuck on a  finger, we are stuck in our thoughts. We believe  every thought. We are what the thoughts say  about us. Because we are fused with thoughts.  Some of these thoughts are about who we want  to be, some of them are about who we are, and  others explain why we are not what we want to  be. 

This is a confusing period. We are easily influ enced by thoughts, not just our own but also  those of others. We are not clear about who we  are or who we should be. We are simply pro pelled by the force of what others tell us, how  others are living, and how others want us to be. 

We may believe we know what we want, but  that is the illusion of thought. What we know  is mostly what we have heard and read. Most  humans start their journey in this stage and  end their journey here. They believe they know  who they are, not realising that what they know  is just a belief. 

2. Consciousness 

A minority move to the next stage of the journey.  Most who venture into this stage have a quest  to look deeply into Existence. They search for  something unknown because what they know is  not fulfilling. Or because that is how it is meant  to be.  

These people enter the world of self-discov ery, self-healing, and Self-realisation. For the  first time, thoughts are examined. For the first  time, thoughts are watched. And for the first  time, there is space between the person and his  thoughts. 

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Suddenly, there is a realisation that a radio is  playing. It seems to be blaring thoughts con stantly. And this radio is within us. Until now,  we never heard this radio, even though it was go ing on in us all the time. As we watch thoughts,  some of us get lucky. 

We glimpse a mind free of thoughts. No mind.  It is the most beautiful experience we have ever  had. It is divine. It is heavenly. It is blissful.  But it does not last. It goes away. The clouds  of thoughts come back. The vast blue sky of  silence is gone. The radio is back. 

Now begins the expedition to stop thoughts. We  want no mind. Freedom from thoughts. Now  we become serious seekers. We meditate, chant,  heal, regress, affirm, undergo therapies, and do  all kinds of practices to become a better version  of ourself. And we do. 

But we do not experience Silence because we  are always in a state of becoming. And becom ing is never-ending. Because the person that  wants to become is kept alive by the desire to  become. These people remain seekers for life,  not realising that they are Life. 

3. Awakening 

A handful of seekers experience Awakening.  The realisation that what they think they are,  emerges only when thought appears. In the ab sence of thought, this person with a past and a  future disappears. Yet life goes on.  

This realisation is sudden for some, and for oth ers, a gradual progression. This leads to another  significant realisation. Life is happening by it self. Thought created the belief that there was a  person living his life. He was making decisions.  He was performing actions.  

This leads to the realisation  that no separate person ex ists. Only Life exists. This  Life has two dimensions:  one keeps changing all the  time and the other watches  the change. Life seems to be  dancing on the stage of Ex istence and also sitting as a  silent observer, the audience.  

This realisation silences the  mind. The false identity can  no longer hide in thoughts.  When the false is seen as  false, the True appears. The  nature of truth is Silence.  Some people call it Aware 

ness. Others Emptiness. But  words are meaningless. They  dissolve in Silence.  

Life no longer has any pur pose, meaning, or hope. All  these are seen as projections  of thought. They kept the  ‘character’ alive. No one is  living life now. Life is living  itself. It is seeing itself with out the filter of thoughts.  Without the lens of duality.  Only it exists.  

Life is its own authority. It  

expresses its fullness in dif ferent ways. Without the  chains of conditioning, it  is naturally expressive. It is  creative, sensitive, and intu itive, without the need to be  any of it. All happens natu rally and spontaneously.  

Awakening does not dissolve  the mind. There are still  thoughts of being a person  with a story. But the mind  has lost its power. In Awak 

ening, thoughts are seen for  what they are—a software  that creates the illusion of  being a person. There are  fewer thoughts and greater  Silence. 

Awakening knows that the  journey is not over. It also  knows that there is no one  there to undertake the re 

maining journey. The prac tice is no longer of making  an effort. There is Surrender.  Whatever happens is a mat ter of Grace. It always was.  Awakening realises it 

4. Realisation 

Realisation brings Absolute  Silence. Realised humans  

are either worshipped or  crucified. No matter what  the world does to them, it  does not affect them. There  is no identification with the  form that the formless has  taken. The form will live its  destiny. The Formless is nev er born. It can never die.  

Realisation speaks more  through Presence than  words. It has no will of its  own. Whatever happens,  happens as Thy Will. The  drop of water has realised  it is the Ocean. Everything  that happens in the Ocean is  an expression of the Ocean. 

We are all on this journey,  whether we realise it or not. It  is a journey in time towards  the timeless. It is a journey  where we are already at the  end of it even before we start.  A dream character’s journey  happens in the dream. When  Awakening happens and Re alisation dawns, it was just a  dream. A dream of the Self  on a journey to realise the  Self. 

Ajay Kalra is a teacher of Advaita Vedanta. He endeavours to simplify  the understanding, practice and application of the Philosophy of Oneness  through his online classes, workshops, writing and videos. We welcome your comments and suggestions on this article.  

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